«At home there is no longer screaming or fear. I'm finally happy"

Of the 44 years of Inma Fernández almost half, 20, were from a stormy marriage, another six are from a grueling legal journey until obtaining a conviction for her ex-husband, recently issued, and only the last of tranquility and domestic peace. «I am happy living with my children. They appreciate the communication. There are no screams, there is no more fear at home », she is sincere, fully recovered from decades of suffering, as she recounts, and also affected by the delay in justice.

She broke up with everything in 2016, denouncing her husband. "It was a lot of psychological abuse, very strong, personal harassmentbrutal economic control”, explains Pilar Casas, his lawyer.

There was a restraining order but the journey continued: trial three years after the complaint, in 2019; her sentence in 2020, which did not agree with her and acquitted her husband; a appeal to the Provincial Court of Tarragona that he quashed that first trial and its verdict because the judge's intervention was "strewn with prejudices" and oozes loss of due impartiality and objectivity", which led to "a serious violation of the rules for obtaining probative information and the violation of their right to a fair and equitable process"; replay ordered of the process with another magistrate; So I started again until this October a sentence was obtained, not yet final, which for the moment condemns her ex-partner for domestic violence, also in the presence of minor children, and for insults.

He lives with his children. She went back to work. She has been able to rebuild her life despite the judicial delay

«I have a feeling of strength, of confidence in myself, I feel stronger, but I feel that justice has been done by me. It's been maddeningI have gone through a first trial in which the judge treated me fatally, I felt like the defendant, she did not allow me to express myself freely or a space to provide evidence”, says Inma, summarizing a common feeling among the victims: personal reparation is more faster than justice, which revictimizes throughout the process. For this reason, many give up on the road. "I'm satisfied with the sentence, but I also thought that if it was not what was expected, nothing would happen. I understood that I put the sentence on him saying enough is enough. It has been hard having to remember, in these six years you do everything possible to get everything out of your mind, and you don't remember many things because the brain is very intelligent and the negative eliminates it.

This is how he started his testimony in the last trial: "I do not remember (the facts) because I have done everything possible to erase everything from my brain." It was shortly before the devastating story of him, reflected in the sentence. Emma stated that “throughout their entire marriage there were practically signs of violence; in the day-to-day of their relationship, he always insulted her with "daughter of a bitch, slut, you're useless, a liar...", many times in front of her children. When he got home, if he didn't have dinner ready, things, he would get angrythen he would go to the garden, smoke for a while, relax, and then he would be a little better. If she saw that she was spending money, she would complain and, if not, she would ask 'where did you get the money from, who did you suck it off'.

«It was hearing the door key and we all shut up. I didn't go out, I didn't work," acknowledges Inma Fernández

Inma now remembers other moments: «It was hearing the key to the door and everyone to the sofa, and quiet. He drank a lot. In the afternoons he would arrive, go to the garden to drink and smoke, and me and my children would leave the house, get in the car to drive around, giving time for the drink to take effect. He would calm down and be much better when we arrived. But then at night he started all over again ».

"Mom, when are you going to separate?"

It took time for her to overcome her fears, take the step, report, separate and leave home with her children. «They themselves told me: 'Mom, when are you going to separate? You always say you will and you don't.' I was afraid to get out of the situation alone, I felt that I was not capable, that I depended on him, I felt like a zero, I limited myself to cooking and cleaning, and I assumed that I was not capable of anything else, "she says.

The judicial story worsens at times. She suffered from Graves' disease, which caused aesthetic sequelae such as bulging eyes. "He laughed at me, at my eyes, and that made me very complex. She was always screaming, talking to me with her face very close to me, a foot away, and she would turn red. And I would end up crying, locked in the kitchen or in the room. It was every day."

There were attacks and insults to the children. She lost the relationship with her family for defending him. "They told me to report him but I got angry because I saw it as exaggerated.. They were absolutely right. It is very difficult to see that you are a victim. He was always looking for an excuse to justify it, like 'he's tired' or 'I haven't done it well'. I was giving up my whole life, I didn't go out, I didn't work, they gave me disability due to depression.

The Court ordered a repeat trial because the right to "a fair trial" was violated

Even came to be hospitalized for anxiety. In that ordeal there was a climax. “On one occasion my son got in the way of an argument. That's when I saw that when she attacked him, he couldn't go on anymore », recalls Inma. In July 2016, the woman "remembers the child lying on the floor, between the two sofas and he (the father) on top of her with his hands on his neck, hitting him," according to the sentence. Inma threw herself on her father's back and told him "stop, stop, stop... leave it."

He did not denounce then but he did four months later. That day "the defendant came home with the bank book, asking where the money was, if she had taken it out, to see what you have collected...". As she recounted at the trial, they argued about her and he pushed her against the wall. "In the kitchen is where he pushed me". He did not fall to the ground nor was he injured, but he locked himself in the bathroom and called the Mossos, who told him to report it.

Maintaining the complaint despite all the obstacles along the way is a daunting task for them. «I would tell women who are in my situation to reportthat they fight until the end, that they never withdraw the complaint. There will be better and worse days, but the complaint must always remainIn the end, if there has been abuse, you will prove it. I have wanted to leave the complaint many times but I have moved on.

"I tell women never to withdraw the complaint, to persist, because in the end everything is proven," acknowledges Inma

Part of the facts have been left out of the process of sexist violence. «Here no sexual violence has been reported, it has not been collected as evidence, but I had a very bad time and it was very serious. we had relationships but when he wanted and forcinge, all these are attacks that have been left out but that have made me suffer a lot, “he points out.

The judicial resolution reflects that life that you see. The ruling maintains that his statement and also that of his children is perceived "spontaneous and sincere": “Mrs. Fernández claims to have been working since 2018 and is happy taking control of her life. And in the same sense the children of her expressed themselves ».

Emma nods. She attended workshops for victims and therapies. The main thing was to fend for herself: «My best treatment has been to go back to work. It has been little by little. With my children we are a pineapple the three of us. I feel the freedom to decide for myself, to get home without fear, of not having rules, of being self-sufficient. It costs but in the end it comes out ».

The court points out, finally, the delays suffered in this case: "Although during the investigation of the cause there are no significant stoppages, from the intermediate phase the procedure slows down." This last magistrate describes these "six years from the facts" as "excessive time", "taking into account the entity of the facts and the investigative procedures carried out".

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Go up